Let me say right from the start…these series of blogs are not meant to be all inclusive or I could write forever. If you want more info or want to discuss any topic further, just email or comment and we will air it all.
HURT RELATIONSHIPS! This is a favorite dance for many of us. Especially for those who are divorced or have experienced marital infidelity. And why not! There is so much hurt that comes along with these experiences. To rehash and relive what happened can appear to give some understanding to what caused the failure and can rally our allies to show why we are justified in our actions.What really happenes is we get angrier and angrier, our family and friends begin to avoid us and they dread seeing our number on the Caller-ID.
Failed Relationships hurt so much because it attacks our personal worth. We invest so much of ourselves in a relationship that when we are betrayed, let down or rejected we will shut down emotionally and shut-out spiritually. On the other hand if we are the ones who caused the pain in a relationship, it can be very hard to find forgiveness for ourselves or accept it from others. We will tend to beat ourselves-up for the rest of our lives, never allowing ourselves to get close in a relationship again or never correcting the sin or problems that caused the failed relationship in the first place.
The Skeleton of Hurt Relationships Can Haunt You for the Rest of Your Life…if you’re not careful!
Once again, I could write a lot about this subject. But the priority is, How do we bury these bones?
First, we must realize that the origin of our hurt relationships (if you are the offender), did not begin because of someone else or some action, it happened because we first failed in our relationship with God. After King David betrayed his wife Bathsheba the prophet Nathan confronted him about his sin (We shouldn’t be afraid to confront those we love when we see them hurting their lives or the lives of those around them), David’s eyes were opened and instead of blaming everyone else he cried out to God in Psalms 51:4, “Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight”. We read on where God forgave David and even called him a “man after God’s own heart”.
Second, if we are the offended, know that God’s Word says NOTHING can seperated us from the love of God. Our value is based on Jesus and He loves us more than anything. He has valued us and made us important. He cares about every hurt and pain we have endured and He asks that we let Him take that hurt on His own shoulders so we won’t have to bear it. He also says in Colossians 3:13, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” That’s a tough one to comprehend, but if we can somehow focus on the truth that the person who hurt us first had a problem with God and if God forgave them…we MUST also.
Once again, as with any past hurt, mistake or wrong God promised to forgive and forget (1 John 1:8, Jeremiah 31:34). What an awesome promise! We can lay those bones down and know that God completely wipes them out. The second truth is we must takes responsibility for our wrong and commit to correct that fault and allow God to transform us to His character. Third, we must do as David and get-up and move forward. Nothing is more unsightly than to see someone “dancing with a skeleton”. A corpse, if you will, is really not a good dance partner. People will avoid you and you won’t have many friends.
So lay it down, move forward and start dancing with the living. It’s a lot more fun!
Be Forgiven!
Bryan
www.imforgiven.com/broken_vows
