This BLOG HAS MOVED

Thanks for checking out this blog. I have moved this blog to bryansbunch.wordpress.com and it can also be viewed on www.imforgiven.com/blog

Dancing With The Skeletons of Hurt Relationships

Let me say right from the start…these series of blogs are not meant to be all inclusive or I could write forever. If you want more info or want to discuss any topic further, just email or comment and we will air it all.

HURT RELATIONSHIPS! This is a favorite dance for many of us. Especially for those who are divorced or have experienced marital infidelity. And why not! There is so much hurt that comes along with these experiences. To rehash and relive what happened can appear to give some understanding to what caused the failure and can rally our allies to show why we are justified in our actions.What really happenes is we get angrier and angrier, our family and friends begin to avoid us and they dread seeing our number on the Caller-ID.

Failed Relationships hurt so much because it attacks our personal worth. We invest so much of ourselves in a relationship that when we are betrayed, let down or rejected we will shut down emotionally and shut-out spiritually. On the other hand if we are the ones who caused the pain in a relationship, it can be very hard to find forgiveness for ourselves or accept it from others. We will tend to beat ourselves-up for the rest of our lives, never allowing ourselves to get close in a relationship again or never correcting the sin or problems that caused the failed relationship in the first place.

The Skeleton of Hurt Relationships Can Haunt You for the Rest of Your Life…if you’re not careful!

The Skeleton of Past Character Issues

If you are ever feeling rather good about your personal character then read The Ten Commandments. It is usually a good ego buster. The Ten Commandments were given by God to the nation of Israel as a guide to righteous living but more importantly as a pointer to Jesus Christ and God’s law of Grace. If we measure our lives by the commandments we will soon see we are not good…as it measures goodness. It shows us our common need for a redeemer. It exposes our character flaws.

Failed Character Issues is usually the first and most often “dance” we like to have with past skeletons. Maybe your past character flaw is a terrible lie or little white lies you tell to your spouse or parents; maybe you stole from work, a store or….from God; you might have filed bankruptcy or just didn’t pay your bills; you may have been fired from a job because you were always late or were a slacker; maybe you had a substance abuse problem or you had problems gossiping. Whatever it was or is, it continues to plaque you and you remember it oftenSo, how do we get rid of this dance card? How do we move forward?

First, know that everyone has had past character issues. Our measure of goodness isn’t based on others, but God did say, “there is none good, no not one”. If we didn’t have character issues, we wouldn’t need a Saviour.

Second, the failures of the past belong in the past, however, past failures should teach us how to have future victories. Although God forgets our sin, we are incapable. That is a good thing! God wants us to remember our mistakes and the hurt they caused as an aid to keep us from doing it again.

Third,  God said when your surrender to Him, He “will begin a new work in you”. Your past does not need to be an anchor in your life. Paul said in Philippians that he “forgets the past and presses toward the future for a greater reward”. God doesn’t look for what we can do with our character, but He does want to transform our character into the image of Jesus. He will help and He will be there with you.

God said in 1 John 1:8-9, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” You character failures of the past were never hidden from God, but He did say if you repent He will forgive.

Accept that forgiveness today and move forward to a better life. When God begins to develop the character of Christ in our lives, people will see something far greater that any of our past mistakes.

Be Forgiven!

Bryan
www.imforgiven.com

Skeletons In Your Closet

Several years ago (In my other life) I was sitting in front of an infamous “pulpit” committee. As they finished asking me questions as to my ability to pastor and my experience as a pastor, one gentleman stood and said, “Before we finish, I have one last question. Do you have any skeletons in your closet we should know about?” My answer was quick and I thought very witty, “No, none that you should know about.” They didn’t have quite the sense of humor I had.

I love that saying, “Skeletons in your closet”. If they are skeletons, aren’t they dead? And if they are dead, why do we or others keep trying to dig them up? That doesn’t seem to be healthy…digging up dead things.

I entitled this series of blogs, “Dancing With The Skeletons” because I wanted to help others learn to live past their past. If that is going to happen, we can’t keep going back and dancing with the skeletons. We must learn to let the “dead bury the dead”.

I have made so many mistakes and bad decisions in my life that there would not be a closet big enough to hold all the skeletons…if I had any. That’s right! If I had any! Some describe skeletons in your closet as any wrongs you have made in your past. If that were the definition, then yes, I do have many. But I define a “skeleton in your closet” as a past you want to keep buried or hidden. Although I would rather not discuss all my mistakes or wrongs, they are not hidden or buried…they are wiped-out by the blood of Christ. He has exposed them, paid the price, forgave the wrong , covered them by his blood and God remembers my mistakes no more. Look at at Jeremiah 31:34, “…I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.”

In my next post I will start to share the five skeletons with which we tend to dance and then show how we can bury those skeletons once and for all. But in order to live past your past you must first receive God’s forgiveness and give Him your past.

Be Happy!

Bryan
www.imforgiven.com

Living Past Your Past

There has been a lot of attention in the news, this past week or so, about people who have messed-up, been falsely accused or that have a past. Sometime ago Mel Gibson was caught driving under the influence and made racists comments; now Don Imus made a racists comment; the Duke Lacrosse players were falsely accused of a crime and Richard Jewell was falsely accused of a planting the bomb at the ‘96 Olympic Games.

Just to mention the names Bill Clinton, Ted Haggard, Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart and most can name their graven mistakes.The fact is, we know of all those people because the media made them famous. But what if our past mistakes or innocent accusations were highlighted and made public. We ALL have a past. Some are filled with the proverbial “Skeletons” and others are filled with betrayal and hurt. So if everyone has these clouds of the past that way over our heads, how do we learn to get over it and start living again? EASIER SAID THAN DONE! There is not one blanket statement for everyone, however, time seems to be the common factor with anyone’s past. People eventually forget or forgive to a certain degree. But there are two things we all can apply in order to “Live Past Our Past”.

1. First, we must want to start fresh. It is very easy to rehash the past. I know many would say they just want to forget the past, but if the hurt is due to what someone else did to you, you will usually revisit the event to find their faults, get people rallied around you and to stay angry. The anger helps to justify your anger. If it was a mistake you made, then you will try to find the problem with others to justify your wrong. Soooo, you must start fresh and let the past be past. Until you decide to be future minded and make it a better tomorrow, you will never live past your past.
2. Second, you must learn to forgive. You must forgive yourself. Satan will supply you with every reason why you have no right, but God gave you ONE reason why you must…Jesus. God said if youconfess your sins, He forgives them, unconditionally. He will remember them no more. You must also forgive others. No matter the reason or the act, weather they are sorry or not. God said you must forgive others if you are going to prosper.

 I don’t which is harder…forgiving yourself or others. I always found it was harder to forgive myself. But I do know if you are going to “Live Past Your Past”, you must learn to forgive. I found by getting in the Bible, looking at examples God gave us, praying for wisdom and discernment and just focusing on the future, it has made it easier to forgive.

Give it a try and start living past your past today.

Be Forgiven!

Bryan

Imus Forgiven??? Does he deserve it?

I have to say I’m not a big Don Imus fan. It’s obvious his morals, values, beliefs and political views don’t line-up with mine. However, due to the recent developments about his latest comments, many who don’t tune into Don Imus are now getting very familiar with him. For those living in a cave Don Imus made a racial remark about the ladies of Rutgers Basketball. As expected many in the black community were offended by this careless thought. There have also been many that have chimed in on the debate, as to weather he should be fired, that could have political or influential gain by picking a side. It’s interesting to me that Don Imus has been a champion of the Liberal movement, but now they have turned.

This morning on a news talk show, a reporter asked Al Sharpton if he could forgive Don Imus since Rev. Sharpton is a christian?

New Day. New Hope. New Beginning.

Easter Sunday. The day Christians celebrate as a day of new life, new hope and new beginnings. It is the ultimate day of forgiveness. When Jesus claimed victory over death on that celebrated day we call Easter, He also erased the past and wiped the slate clean. Death was the price. The price for all we have done wrong, for the selfishness that has defined our lives and our beginnings. But His resurrection, that glorious victory over death, was the reward and the supernatural making right of a new and glorious future.

When Jesus came back to life it was a celestial unveiling of His Godly character and a sounding trumpet of the victory and the new beginning He was going to offer to all. By accepting His victory and believing in Him as the only Son of God, you too can celebrate a new life. There is a time for all of us to reflect on our lives. A time to recall the mistakes, the humiliations, the failures, the regrets, all of those moments we wish we could erase from our memories. At that moment, the moment when all the guilt and shame flood over our souls, you can know that when you have a relationship with Jesus, He earses the slate.

The resurrection of life of Jesus gives us a reason to celebrate. A celebration of a new day, a new hope and a new beginning. No matter what you have done or what others have done to you, God can give you a new start. I pray this Easter you will accept His renewal and start fresh. You can say, “I’m forgiven”. It’s a New Day. New Hope. New Beginning.

Because He Lives, IMforgiven.

Bryan

His Hurt Is Our Healing

Isaiah 53:2-6 (The Message)

“The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling,
a scrubby plant in a parched field.
There was nothing attractive about him,
nothing to cause us to take a second look.
He was looked down on and passed over,
a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand.
One look at him and people turned away.
We looked down on him, thought he was scum.
But the fact is, it was our pains he carried—
our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.
We thought he brought it on himself,
that God was punishing him for his own failures.
But it was our sins that did that to him,
that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins!
He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
Through his bruises we get healed.
We’re all like sheep who’ve wandered off and gotten lost.
We’ve all done our own thing, gone our own way.
And God has piled all our sins, everything we’ve done wrong,
on him, on him.”

As Easter approaches I am reminded of the suffering Jesus endured for us and why He endured it. We have many things that happen in our lives that cause hurt, depression, discord, brokeness and unhappiness. Some of these things are legitimate burdens and concerns, some are very superfiscial. However, the prophecy of Isaiah 53 clearly shows us how much pain Jesus endured so we could be healed. How much suffering He willing took on Himself so He could carry our burden. He is our Saviour! And all the pain He felt, all the pain He received…was our pain.

Give Jesus your hurts and pain today. If your life seems empty, frustrating or hopeless, see what God can do. It’s worth investigating. Our healing was His hurt and His hurt was offered so we can be healed.

Be Happy!

Bryan

Amish (Godly) Forgiveness

Olbermann: Amish Forgiveness is Christ Like

Most watched, followed or heard about this story. I just thought it was important and moving enough to remind us of the awesome forgiveness these people found.

Blog It!!!

OK, This blog will be a place for me to post my thoughts, experiences, stories, and hopefully, some helpful advice and direction to help get you past your past.

But, I also want this to be a place for you to blog about your place in this world. What’s your hurt? What is your unique struggles with getting past your past? How has this ministry helped or how has God healed your past? Just comment to any post or email me at contact@imforgiven.com with ideas, stories or specific areas you want me to focus on.

I am looking forward to your participation and be sure to share this site with others.

Be Forgiven!

Bryan